


Empty Boxes

by LiraelClayr007



Series: 31 Days of Ficmas - 2019!! [11]
Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst, Christmas Decorations, F/M, Memories, Post Bad Wolf Bay, remembering Rose
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-11
Updated: 2019-12-11
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:41:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21756952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LiraelClayr007/pseuds/LiraelClayr007
Summary: The tree is lovely, as always. He’d spent hours at the tree farm, wandering up and down the rows, finding the perfect one to cut down. It’s just right, here beside the fireplace in the library. Not too tall, not too wide. Cutting it down himself, dragging it to the TARDIS, it had been good, therapeutic work. There’s an ache in his arms, a slight twinge in his back, and it makes him feel morereal.She would like that.***In which the Doctor remembers Rose at Christmastime.
Relationships: Tenth Doctor/Rose Tyler
Series: 31 Days of Ficmas - 2019!! [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1559875
Comments: 14
Kudos: 24
Collections: 31 Days of Ficmas 2019





	Empty Boxes

It’s Christmas again.

Not that it matters, on the TARDIS. He could have Christmas every sixty two days if he wanted. Or every six hundred and two. Or six plus two. But he doesn’t--Christmas comes every 365 days. Or 366, sometimes.

The tree is lovely, as always. He’d spent hours at the tree farm, wandering up and down the rows, finding the perfect one to cut down. It’s just right, here beside the fireplace in the library. Not too tall, not too wide. Cutting it down himself, dragging it to the TARDIS, it had been good, therapeutic work. There’s an ache in his arms, a slight twinge in his back, and it makes him feel more _real_.

She would like that.

“You’d tell me to stop moping about. You’d tell me to get Donna from her room and tell her it’s Christmas and let her help with the decorations. You’d tell me to get over myself, even if I can’t get over you.” He flops onto the sofa, feet dangling over the armrest, and stares at the ceiling. “But you’re not actually here, Rose Tyler, so I’ll go on moping if I please.”

He’s surprised at the flash of anger he feels at that last. It’s not her fault that she’s gone. If anything, it’s his. But he holds everything in, holds her close; now that he’s talking to her, he can’t stop.

“But maybe you can’t dictate the rules anymore. Maybe today I get to be sad. Because you should be here, Rose. Every day I spent with Martha, every day I spend with Donna, every day I’ve spent alone--you should’ve been here for all of them. I have to go on smiling, laughing, saving the day. I have to keep being the Doctor. But sometimes I need to be sad. Today I need to be sad.”

He takes the ornaments from the boxes, one by one, and with each one he remembers. “We got this one on Baronty 4, a flower to remember that trouble with falling into the Emperor’s sacred rosebush. And this snowflake from Abraxia Minor; you thought you were so clever, picking out a snowflake ornament to remember a completely rainy visit. Here’s the castle from Swaantia, and the star from the moon of Jarbash…”

Soon the tree is covered with memories, and his face is wet with tears. He can talk to her until his voice is only a whisper, but she’s still trapped in another universe. All he has here is empty boxes and a place on the sofa where she isn’t curled up, asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> 31 Days of Ficmas || Day 11 - Ornaments
> 
> Please don't hate me for this one.
> 
> _hides_


End file.
